2. Videos, articles, media for each BSF Trait

Here on this page below, each of the seven “Double A-Triple C-T-S” traits has its own bonus section of related inspiring, upbeat, encouraging, humorous, and informative resources Jonathan has collected and curated from over 30 years of presenting this course. Due to time constraints, this is ALL the stuff that normally never gets shared in the regular 90-minute workshop. However, now you get ALL the EXTRA goodies :-)

3. PDF copy of the workbook…

is available here so you can download and print extra copies of any worksheets you need for activities for yourself and other immediate family members.

Thank you for your integrity in not sharing this PDF with people outside your immediate family who haven’t purchased it.

You can buy a paperback copy on Amazon here:

Time Together is about…

CONTENTS ON THIS PAGE:

The best present you can give
- Vid: Thich Nhat Hanh: “The Best Present.”
Time with Kids: You never get it back
- Story: “Why don’t you kids grow up?!” / No More Oatmeal Kisses, by Erma Bombeck
- Blog post: Hookey Dates
- Vid: “If you could have dinner with anyone in the world…?” (TV commercial)
- Vid: Consequences - Daughter (TV spot)
- Vid: Waiting for Dad (TV spot)
- Vid: I’ve Put It Off Too Long (TV spot)
- Vid: Home Repair (TV spot)
- Vid: Johnny Got a Job (TV spot)
- Vid: But Why? (TV spot)
- Vid: At the Movies (TV spot)
- Vid: Answering Machine (TV spot)
- Vid: Soccer (TV spot)
- Vid: Born to Play the Game (TV spot)
- Vid: Missing (TV spot)
- Vid: By the Hour (TV spot)
- Vid: Something Important (TV spot)
- Vid: Don’t Let the Magic Pass You By (TV spot)
Time with kids: Enter their world.
- Vid: Runaway Stage (TV spot)
- Vid: SciFi (TV spot)
- Vid: Swashbuckler (TV spot)
- Vid: Dinner Conversation (TV spot)
- Vid: Bad Hair Day (TV spot)
Time as a Couple
- Vid: Secret Agent (TV spot)
Time Together as a Family
- Vid: Pool (TV spot)
Just being there
- Music Vid: “Lady” by The Little River Band

…. The best present you can give.

Thich Naht Hanh, the well-known Buddhist monk, shares this valuable insight:

… Time with Kids: You never get it back.

Take the time to make the time, because you'll never "find" the time. By spending your valuable time with your kids you create memories with your kids you can enjoy reflecting on the rest of your life and thus avoid looking back with regrets of "if only I had spent more time with my kids..."

Why don’t you kids grow up?!

When I (Jonathan Sherman) was a young father I read the following piece by Erma Bombeck, who was a newspaper columnist, bestselling author, and humorist. It really hit me! I vowed then and there to not be the dad who looked forward to when the children left, nor the dad who looked back regretting missed time with his children now that those moments are gone and it’s too late. I’m not a fan of “guilty parenting” so I’m not sharing it to trigger guilt for what you've done wrong as a parent (we all have!). I don’t want you to use it that way. I encourage you to use it the way it helped me: 1. As a cautionary tale I could learn from to save myself from feeling guilty later, and 2. as a mindfulness practice: to embrace and be in the moment I was in with the child that was in front of me as they were in that now moment. Now that my kids are grown, and we are empty-nesters, I’m very grateful I can look back and reflect on how I stopped to be with them, how much we both enjoyed that time, how many good memories we have, and how much it built such a strong bond in our relationships.

No More Oatmeal Kisses
by Erma Bombeck from Forever, Erma (1996)

A young mother writes: "I know you've written before about the empty-nest syndrome, that lonely period after the children are grown and gone. Right now I'm up to my eyeballs in laundry and muddy boots. The baby is teething, the boys are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat without him, and I fell off my diet. Lay it on me again, will you?"

OK. One of these days, you'll shout, "Why don't you kids grow up and act your age!" And they will. Or, "You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do . . . and don't slam the door!" And they won't.

You'll straighten up the boys' bedroom neat and tidy: bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay this way." And it will.

You'll prepare dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now, there's a meal for company." And you'll eat it alone.

You'll say, "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?" And you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms. No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps. No more clothespins under the sofa. No more playpens to arrange a room around.

No more anxious nights in the bathroom. No more iron-on patches, rubber bands for ponytails, tight boots or wet knotted shoestrings.

Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it. No baby-sitter for New Year's Eve. Washing only once a week. Seeing a steak that isn't ground. Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap. No PTA meetings. No carpools. No blaring radios. No one washing her hair at 11 o'clock at night. Having your own roll of Scotch tape.

Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No more giggles in the dark. No knees to heal, no responsibility.

Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?" and the silence echoing, "I did."

Hookey Dates

Enjoy this blog post about our family tradition of playing hookey from school and work… and the impact it has had on our relationship.

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“If you could have dinner with anyone in the world…?”
Masterfoods commercial

… Time with kids: Enter their world.

… Time as a Couple.

… Time together as a family.

… Just being there.

Take time to make time
Make time to be there

This line from the 70s love song Lady, by The Little River Band, has been a constant mantra in my head in my family life. Life gets so busy and people complain to me they can’t “find” the time. The truth is there’s no time to find. And besides “finding” time is a passive reaction to life and relationships. Instead, we have to take the time to make the time. That’s a proactive, choice-based, empowered response to life and relationships.

Enjoy this great song!