This song reminds me of how precious you are to me. I love to spend time with you, talk with you, laugh with you, watch you dance, share, plan, and grow with you. When the time comes for one of us to go, I will desperately miss your companionship. I am so grateful that that separation will only be for a short time. I love you with all my heart.

Kara, my “love’s young dream” was more naïve then but no less sincere now that I’m somewhat older and wiser. I love you now more than ever. With you, I have found a deeper and truer love than I had ever hoped for when I was a teen.

So much will change over the course of your relationship with each other, and rightly so. Things change, and we need to grow and adapt. So much that brought you together also needs to stay the same: Courting, wooing, maintaining, enhancing, and building your friendship with each other. You started there. Go back to that. Keep doing that. Stay there.

My brother, a deep and soulful man, shared the above song with me. He said, "Here’s a nice song for the winter nights ahead, for living life, and the gentle adaptations of spouses. Leah and I have listened to him since we started dating, and I vividly recall when we first heard Birches; we were sitting quietly by a fire, simply listening to the radio and sipping wine."

Hey Cold Feet, I think this is one of the most lovely songs I've ever heard. Nothing would make up for not having your "little ol' cold feet" on me in the night. It's one of the single most sublime pleasures of my life. Love, Foot Warmer.

Take fierce pride in the one you love. Brag about your baby. Take joy in him or her. Let your baby know Refuse to ever criticize her/him to others. Don't husband-bash with your girlfriends. Don't wife-bash with the guys. "You mess with her, you'll see a man get mean" is a great line. Have that kind ofprotectiveness not just with others but more importantly from your own internal criticisms of your baby.

Make room for love to move in. Love needs space. Too often we keep our hearts full of so much junk, baggage, goofy beliefs, relationship myths, masks, fears. "I'm tired of acting tough" is about being ready to let that go and move into love where there is "vacancy" or space. When we're ready to stop "posing/fronting" we can look forward to the subtle joy of connecting with someone now and into the future where we are just relaxing on the front porch. To do so, though, we need to first clear space within ourselves for love to move fully in.

Time to sing props for me this time! Go me! While I don't have a voice like Barry, a body like Arnold, nor the Denzel face, I do have a will, commitment and desire to treat you right. This isn't meant to be self-congratualtory (okay, yes it is, but that's beside the point...), it is meant to simply say you have a good man and you deserve a good man. I hold myself to a high husbandly standard for three reasons...

Love is a Series of Behaviors that Generate Outcomes. There is so much relational wisdom is this one song as it so well illustrates some key behaviors to really love your woman. Allow me to expound a bit on the behaviors identified in this song...

Simplicity cuts through complexity. "I don't want a complicated past... don't want drama... I just want a love that will last." Too many of the couples I work with have complicated their relationships. For example, they want a deep and meaningful friendship, yet they don't treat each other as friends.  The simple approach is to then begin acting in friendly ways even if you don't feel friendly. Be nice. Duh. So obvious yet it's missed because we add complexity: "I'd be nice if she wouldn't...". Cut through the crud and just be nice anyway.

Mend it, don't end it. Long-term marital studies find that 69% of couples who seriously considered divorce but stayed married report that 16 years later they are very happy that they stuck it out. Further research shows that couples that stop trying to change each other and learn to accept each other are the ones that change the most and become the most happy.