Today, I did a survey of local teen girls (at lunch today with my daughty and her bestie, both 15 years old asking them, "How do you know when a relationship is healthy or unhealthy?" See their answers below, and please answer the following questions in the comments, or better yet discuss them with your family around the dinner table:

Q: 1. What do you tell your kids about distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy, safe/unsafe, good/bad relationships?
Q: 2. What do you wish you knew as a teen that you know now?
Q: 3: Do you agree with the girls' answers? What would you add or change?

Healthy

Unhealthy

"Fear telling others about being abused. Afraid to reach out for help."

"If you can work together."

"Beating up verbally, emotionally or physically."

"Not fighting a lot."

"Go out on dates weekly like you and mom. Reminds each other that you are still in love, and that you make time for each other."

Not making each other a priority.

"Fearful."

"Can tell each other anything."

"Need to have a good relationship with yourself. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else."

"Gossip. Bad-mouthing partner to others behind her/his back."

"Accept who you are. You are made to be you and not someone else."

"If you don't love yourself you might take out your own flaws on your partner."

"Use 'I messages.' We learned about those in Teen Living. They are a more respectful way to talk about your problems with each other."

"When you use 'You messages' your partner feels attacked and they get defensive.

Q: 1. What do you tell your kids about distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy, safe/unsafe, good/bad relationships?
Q: 2. What do you wish you knew as a teen that you know now?
Q: 3: Do you agree with the girls' answers? What would you add or change?