Our Anniversary Tradition typically includes 6 Things:

The Anniversary Logo
The Love Song Playlist
The Ever-Expanding Bouquet of Roses
The Fancy Schmancy Dinner
The Getaway
Kara’s Valentines Decorations

1. About this year’s logo:

31st Anniversary Baskin and Robbins Menu Facsimile .png

It’s our 31st Anniversary!
Baskin and Robbins 31 Flavors inspired. I was looking for a fun way to make a design out of the number 31. However, it’s an odd number with no real symmetry to play with. Then I came upon the ice cream chain Baskin and Robbins’ famous “31 Flavors” logo and I thought, “That’s it!” They cleverly made their B and R with the 3 and the 1. I riffed off that idea and made a J and K for us instead. Mine is tilted as my series of anniversary logos are all rotated to 12º.
The Menu Ad. I was looking for a way to make an itinerary for the days events on our anniversary. Since I had more things in mind than we’d likely have time for, I thought I would lay them all out in a menu going along with the Baskin and Robbins theme and give Kara the choice to select her favorite flavors from the menu. Most items on the menu are locked in, but several are optional. We don’t have to do them all. Kara can pick and choose off the menu what she’d most like to do. I placed this in front of her flowers. When she wakes up she can peruse the menu and take it with her to refer to throughout the day.

Why these Anniversary Logos?

Many moons ago I once considered becoming a graphic designer. I became a therapist instead. However, I've long dabbled in graphic design and do most of my own marketing and design materials. It's fun. And I've designed all our anniversary logos.

I also teach a workshop called "Creating the GREAT Relationship Brand" on how to use branding, marketing, and customer service concepts from business in our own relationships. So, several years ago, I came up with the idea of creating our own brand for our relationship. And while I do a different logo each year, the actual brand aspect that remains constant in each iteration is the “I ♥ Kara.” And the number one thing to know in marketing is that a brand is not just a logo. A brand is an identity. A brand is a promise. And “I ♥ Kara” is who we are (identity), and it is my promise. Love is not just a feeling, it’s a promise regardless of how I feel.

I put it on the back windows of our vehicles as a vinyl sticker every year. Over the years, friends and locals have come to look for it and anticipate the next year's asking, "Are you doing a new one this year?"

Yep! Here it is :-)

2. Our 31st Anniversary Playlist (36 songs!)

Throughout the year, I collect love songs specifically for our next anniversary. I especially prefer love songs that speak to commitment, dedication, and behavioral love, not just romantic or feeling-based love.

So if you're a romantic sap, like me, then enjoy these gems—some old, some new, some popular, some obscure. And if you like these, look for my prior years' playlists for many, many more.

Kuv Hlub Koj (I Love You) • Maiyia Vwj (Mai Yia Vue)
NOTE: This one is special…see notes and translated lyrics below.
I Need you • Jon Batiste
Ain’t Friends Anymore • Cooper Alan
Ghost • Tom MacDonald
Rather Be (Clean Bandit Cover) • Twenty One Two
Love You • Christian Padovan, Stéphane Huguenin, Yves Sanna
I Was Born to Love You • Ray LaMontagne ft. Sierra Ferrell
New Star • Watchhouse
Top of the World • Carpenters
Love You for a Long Time • Maggie Rogers
Diga Diga Doo • Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Fate Don’t Know You • Desi Valentine
A Blessing and a Curse • Harry Connick, Jr.
You’re in My Heart • Rod Stewart
Someone to Watch Over Me • Blossom Dearie
Never My Love • The Association
You Send Me • Sam Cooke
I’ve Never Found a Girl • Al Green
You and Me • Penny & The Quarters
With Plenty of Money and You • Tony Bennett & Count Basie
Know You Better • Black Pumas
I’ve Got This Friend • The Civil Wars
I Like You • Ben Rector
Baby, I’m In the Mood for You (Bob Dylan cover) • Odetta
Hold Me In Your Arms • The Black Keys
How ‘Bout Us • Champaign
Erase All the Miles • IIIrd Tyme Out
Kathy’s Song (Simon & Garfunkel cover) • Eva Cassidy
Roll in My Sweet Baby’s Arms • Flatt & Scruggs
Supernatural Thing (Parts 1 & 2) • Ben E. King
Sunscreen • Ira Wolf
Sara Smile • Hall & Oates
She’s the One • The Ramones
I’m Still in Love with You • Al Green
Ain’t That a Kick in the Head • Dean Martin
Loco Amor • Pedrito Martínez

I Love You, by Mai Yia Vue / Kuv Hlub Koj*, by Maiyia Vwj
(*pronounced roughly as “gu hloo gah”)

Primarily, I am sharing this song for the reason the artist wrote it in honor of her husband’s grandparents’ lifelong love. Maiyia said, “This song was written for my husband’s grandparents. Their true love remains even after one is gone. My grandma says, ‘Why would you not love each other when the sun is about to set in the horizon?’”

Secondarily, I am sharing it because over 30 years ago, I served as a missionary in northern California, serving Hmong refugees for two years. I was blessed to be welcomed into their homes, learn their language fluently (though I’ve since lost it), translate for them in the community, learn their customs and history, be welcomed into their homes, be accepted graciously by them, given a Hmong name, enjoy their food, hospitality, warmth, and love. Further, my wife, who also served as a missionary in Minnesota, where there was also a large Hmong population, had the pleasure of also getting to know them. I have a great love for the Hmong people, culture, and language. As such, I was curious about the current Hmong music scene and randomly came across this song. When I read the artist’s statement about how she wrote it for her grandparents-in-law love, I was deeply touched and knew it had to be part of The 52 Love Songs Project and this year’s Anniversary Playlist. Thank you, Maiyia, for this lovely tribute to them.

Hmong
(Maiyia said, “I apologize if any of the lyrics are misspelled.”)
.

Mi qab zib
Ua cas zoo li
Lub sijhawm tsis txaus wb li
Xav nrog koj
Txhua lub sijhawm
Tus neeg kuv hlub
Wb laus zuj zus
Los kuv tsis nrhuav koj li
Saib koj tseem
Zoo tshaj thaum ub

Kuv hlub koj
Tag nrhog kuv lub zog
Kuv yuav hlub koj
Tsis muaj hnub tso

Noj qab los tshuag
Kuv txaus siab yuav
Tsuav tau nrog koj nyob ua ke
Wb lub neej
Yog ib zaj tshwj xeeb

Kuv hlub koj
Tagnro kuv lub zog
Kuv yuav hlub koj
Tsis muaj hnub tso

Ib hnub tom tej
Wb tig nrov qab
Los saib lub neej wb tsim
Lub siab puv npo
Kev hlub kev nco

Vim kuv hlub koj
Tagnrho hlub lub zog
Kuv yuav hlub koj
Tsis muaj hnub tso

English
(I was once fluent, however, it’s been over 30 years since I spoke Hmong! So, this is a Google Translation. Pardon mistakes.)

My sweet
It's like that
Time is not enough
Want to be with you
All the time
The person I love
We are getting older
I don't care you are like that
Look at you still
Best ever ‘

I love you
All my strength
I will love you
Not have day release (i.e., til the end)

Eat well
I am willing to buy
As long as I can be with you
Let's live
It's a special story

I love you
Take my strength
I will love you
Not have day release (i.e., til the end)

One day at a time
Let's turn around
Come and see the life we create
The heart is full
Loving memories

Because I love you
All love power
I will love you
Not have day release (i.e., til the end)

3. Bouquet of Roses

One red rose (31) for each year we've been married, and one yellow rose for the coming year of friendship. We were friends well before we ever dated, and we've been friends through all the love, arguments, ups and downs.

36 Years Friends, 31 Years Partners
Summer 1987 — February 14, 2023

Friends first and friends last.

4. Fancy Schmancy Dinner

Pagos at 9th & 9th.

For many years we didn't have much as students, and even after I graduated, I was the primary breadwinner working as a therapist for mental health agencies (which don't pay much), so the budget has always been tight. We often couldn't afford a fancy expensive dinner. I realized a long time ago, though, that putting aside $10 each month meant $120 I could spend on my baby once a year to take her to a really nice restaurant. So even though we were poor, I found a way to splurge, too, and add a real exclamation point (!) to our anniversary. It's easier now, financially, thank goodness, but even then, we found a way to make it special.

Kara's an amazing cook (aka "Culinary Wizard") and knows and appreciates fine food. When we do go out for fine dining, it's fun for me to watch her enjoy an especially well-prepared meal by an amazing and talented chef. Her anticipation while reading the menu and taking in the ambiance is palpable. When the dishes arrive, she exults in the presentation and flavors. She knowledgeably explains how the food was prepared. Her refined palate can distinguish the subtleties of the various ingredients. She teaches me what the terms and fancy words mean. It's a real joy to eat with her. It's well worth the expense.

5. The Getaway

When we were first married, we liked just to wander around, window shop, look at antique shops, sit in bookstores, and read. We didn't have to buy anything (and often couldn't anyway). We just enjoyed "pal-ing around" together. When the kids were little, and we couldn't afford an overnight getaway, we would still get away by getting a babysitter and taking the whole day off together. As the kids got older, with the help of our flight attendant friends(!), we were able to go to Disneyland, Hawaii, a Cruise, and New Orleans for our anniversaries. Those were especially fun anniversary trips. Some years we would do “staycations” and stay in a nice hotel somewhere local in Salt Lake City or Park City. We’ve gone to Utah’s beautiful parks: Zion’s National Park, the Escalante Yurts, and another year we took our vintage 1965 Roadrunner Camper to Goblin Valley State Park.

This year, we did a little getaway to Kanab and a day celebration around here.

Kanab:
- National Parks are a big deal to us, especially as Kara is a multi-decorated Junior Park Ranger with many badges from all over the country.
- Two of our oldest and best friends, we’ve known ever since college, joined us. We shared a condo, and we got to pal around with them.
Local:
- “Menu” possible activities Kara can choose from. We don’t expect to do them all. Just like when you go to Baskin and Robbins 31 Flavors you can pick what you like :-).
- Visit the Castle Amphitheater in Provo. We had our very first date there where we saw some Shakespeare play. It’s an unusual setting as it’s located on the grounds of the State Hospital (psychiatric inpatient now and a former asylum). They have a small mental health museum there, which given my profession and Kara’s education advocacy work, we both found very interesting.
- The Leonardo Museum.
- Antiquing
- Gift shopping
- See the FULL MENU of activities below I made to resemble a Baskin and Robbins 31 Flavors Ad/Menu (see the original Baskin and Robbins ad in the gallery above).
- Dinner.
Enjoyed just being together and hanging out.

No matter where we go, simple or fancy, cheap or expensive, that's the main thing: We just enjoy being together. That's all that really matters.

6. Kara’s Valentines last all month long.

Kara decorates our home beautifully for Valentine’s to make it special. I see each of these as thoughtful Valentine from my girl.

That's how we do it. But there's no "right" way.

Valentine’s All Year. I share all of this here as clients and workshop participants often ask for examples of how to keep the love alive. This is one example. I recommend a “Valentines All Year” mentality to keep the romance going throughout the year: weekly date nights, take the time daily to share each other’s days (and really listen), plan get-aways, find thoughtful ways to show you care that are meaningful to your partner, a brief call or text during the day to say, “I’m thinking about you.”

What works for each couple (simple or complex, cheap or expensive) is the right way. So what are some of your favorite anniversary and/or Valentine's traditions, memories, activities? Comment below.