Strategies and mindsets for developing Marriage Mastery, Parent Training, and Self-Mastery.
See Jonathan's other related blog projects in the sidebar:
- The Q&A Series
- The GR Masters Project
- The 52 Love Songs Project
- The 365 Love Quotes Project
- Rock Therapy
- In the News
7 Red Lines: The Importance of Having a Realistic Approach to Change
People come wanting a solution to a train wreck of a marriage: Save our marriage and transform it into a truly GREAT relationship. "Certainly. That's what I'm here for and I love to help people do... Let's get cracking...". And then they proceed to tell me how it should be constructed based on myths, what they heard, opinions and preferences that are contrary to how healthy relationships actually function; in what ridiculously short time frame it should occur; with minimal to no actual study, practice and effort on their part because "really it shouldn't be this hard" nor "take this long." And then if they don't accomplish their goals in those parameters they quit therapy saying, "Well, we tried. Counseling just doesn't work." And they stay discouraged and stuck.
"Easier Said Than Done." Well, No Duh!
"Well, Jonathan, that's easier said than done." This is a common phrase and objection I hear from people when we talk about creating a GREAT relationship overall and/or specific strategies towards that goal. My response is...
"Be Our Guest" = Customer Service (i.e., Relationship) Excellence
So how do you apply, or think could be applied, "Be Our Guest" customer service in marriage and family relationships?
The Soul of Compassion: Understanding
The key to a GREAT relationship is REALLY understanding, which is the soul of compassion. To know someone so fully that you can see past what you disagree with about them to what really makes them tick. To fully understand them as they are instead of as they "should" be opens up the door to truly loving someone.
Any Dad's Relate to the Work of the Woman, the Craft of the Father?
"I stand outside this woman's work. Now starts the craft of the father."
—Kate Bush, This Woman's Work, from the movie She's Having a Baby
18 FAQs Creating GREAT Relationships
The following questions have been collected from pre-questionnaires I submit to church groups before I speak to them. Many of the questions are universal and of interest to many so I thought I'd share them here with you.
GREAT Relationships don't 'just happen'... They are created!
Okay gang. Here's the low down. Everyone WANTS a great relationship—a happy marriage, a loving and profound connection with their children, an enjoyable workplace—but the reality is most people are doing just that: Wanting. And from that wanting their relationships are left wanting (e.g., lacking).
Daily Romance & Valentine's ALL Year
Whew! You got here before Valentine's Day... OR... Oops! You're getting this too late after Valentine's Day? Either way, great! Because, this post isn't for Valentine's Day, it's for taking care of your relationship with great care throughout the whole year, and not just on one day. For example, for our tenth anniversary, I collected and printed or wrote out 365 love quotes and poems and put them in the jars pictured above. This way she could read have random love note/Valentine every day that year. Further, they are a constant reminder year after year of the time and care I took that Valentine's Day to let her know for many days and many years how much she matters to me.