Strategies and mindsets for developing Marriage Mastery, Parent Training, and Self-Mastery.
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- The Q&A Series
- The GR Masters Project
- The 52 Love Songs Project
- The 365 Love Quotes Project
- Rock Therapy
- In the News
Parenting > Marketing Disconnection: When Did "You don't have to connect with your kids" Become a Selling Point?
This car ad is touting quiet, non-interactive children as a primary benefit of a car with built-in wifi. Now bear in mind I'm a big tech fan and readily welcome advances. However, I'd rather hear my child in her boredom come up with something imaginative like "I'm jumping on a chocolate chip trampoline" than have them plugged in and tuned out.
7 Red Lines: The Importance of Having a Realistic Approach to Change
People come wanting a solution to a train wreck of a marriage: Save our marriage and transform it into a truly GREAT relationship. "Certainly. That's what I'm here for and I love to help people do... Let's get cracking...". And then they proceed to tell me how it should be constructed based on myths, what they heard, opinions and preferences that are contrary to how healthy relationships actually function; in what ridiculously short time frame it should occur; with minimal to no actual study, practice and effort on their part because "really it shouldn't be this hard" nor "take this long." And then if they don't accomplish their goals in those parameters they quit therapy saying, "Well, we tried. Counseling just doesn't work." And they stay discouraged and stuck.
Be Crazy in Love with Your Kid
Sadly, too many children lack this, and it affects them profoundly. Please tell your children often that you love them and give them specifics as to why. They hang on to it years later in ways you may never know. There as some key loving things that my mother said to me as a child and teenager that have shaped the person I am today.
First to Fly the Coop One Last Fling Thing
How fun it would be if we could all go to Disneyland one last time all together as a family. It's just not in the budget, though. However, I'm a "how can we do it?" vs. "we can't do it" guy. I think in solutions not problems. I mean memories come from actions not wishes, right?
Talking to Your Kids About the School Shootings
After the horrific school shootings in Connecticut I was asked the important question what do you tell your children and grandchildren about such tragedies; How do you talk them through it? There's a lot of things you can say. What they need to hear is the truth: Both sides of it. This is what I told my four children:
From Ignorance to Mastery
I am ignorant. So are you. Face it. The reality is if I take every single thing I know, big and small, silly and profound, and compare it to all that there is to know in this vast universe then the only conclusion I can arrive at is that my knowledge is infinitesimally small and that I am VASTLY ignorant. I'm okay with that. It keeps my ego grounded and my mind open to learning. Fortunately, there is a solution to ignorance...
5 Free Articles for Parents: "The Children & Divorce Series"
I was fortunate enough to be able to teach Utah's Divorce Parenting classes for 11 years and to be a family therapist for 18 years now. The research from my profession is undoubtably valuable, but the best teachers I've ever had have been all the wonderful parents and children who've simply gone through divorce and step-family transitions. It ain't no easy task! Those who've been through it can empathize and clearly know what they are talking about having been "in the trenches" themselves. I did, too, when I was six and the aftermath went on for years (Hmmm... I wonder why I became a marriage and family therapist....?). From both my profession's research and from the hundreds of families I've worked with I've written these articles.
Sending Love Notes to Your Children
This is just one of many, many, many letters, notes and drawings I've mailed and/or given to my kids over the years; many silly, some profound, and all communicate the same message: "You matter to me... A LOT!"
Leveraging the Asset of ADHD—From Michael Phelps to a Regular Little Boy
I wouldn't trade my ADHD brain for anything. Love it. I also love to see high acheivers like Michael Phelps who has ADHD highlighted as it helps remove the unfortunate stigma around a brain difference that I don't see as either a deficit nor a disorder. Sadly most people don't see it as the tremendous asset it can be and only see the deficit/disorder side to it.
The Answers You Get
I often remind people to be careful when seeking my advice and counsel: "Do you want the answer you want to hear or that is easiest to hear or do you want the answer you need to hear even if it's hard to hear?" For example, on one daddy daughter date last year with my teen girl I asked her, "How am I doing as a dad? What can I do better or differently to help you?" The answer I got really surprised me.
Jason Williams, LMFT on Helping Your Kids with Bullying
My colleague Jason Williams, LMFT gives some great advice on how to teach your children how to handle bullies.
"Easier Said Than Done." Well, No Duh!
"Well, Jonathan, that's easier said than done." This is a common phrase and objection I hear from people when we talk about creating a GREAT relationship overall and/or specific strategies towards that goal. My response is...
ADHD and Zombie Torches
Ever wonder what an ADHD professional who works on his own does when he gets distracted off task? Well, naturally, he makes torches in preparation for the Zombie Apocalypse. Duh! Build Your Own! Here's how...
Hookey Dates
What is a Hookey Date? Well, hookey, of course, is the old term for ditching school. So Hookey Dates are where from 8 am to 3 pm I and one of my children completely blow off work and school. Each child gets to do this with dad one time each school year.
Honoring the Honorable and Dishonorable Parents
The commandment to "Honor thy father and mother" is easy and a joy to do when you have loving and honorable parents that you take pride in. However, what about when your parent(s) lack honor?
"The boogie that be"—Silly Dads Sound Off!
Any other silly fathers out there besides me? I bet there are plenty. What funny, silly, ridiculous, self-abasing things do you do to make your kids laugh?
Teaching Children Anger Management
Taught 11-year-old daughter learning to control her anger is as learnable as controlling a car via the speedometer, steering wheel, gas/brakes of emotion regulation. She felt bad before about not being able to control her anger and was crying, poor thing…
Any Dad's Relate to the Work of the Woman, the Craft of the Father?
"I stand outside this woman's work. Now starts the craft of the father."
—Kate Bush, This Woman's Work, from the movie She's Having a Baby