Keeping a place in your heart for old flames, lost loves, unfulfilled dreams, other side of the fence fantasies, comparing the one you're with others, etc. are all examples of half-loves. Letting all of those go fully and without regret or begrudgement is the prerequisite for the privilege and honor of "taking one heart home" to yourself. There is no halfway jumping across the chasm. In true, real love give it all or get nothing.

Refuse to Take Her/Him for Granted, EVER. There's a STUPID old saying that says, "You always hurt the ones you love." While I understand how that happens, it seems like a cop-out and a lame one at that. Seems to me that if anyone on the planet deserves your best it is those you have sworn to honor, love, and protect: Spouse and children.

True love is sacred as it requires sacrifice. True sacrifice isn't easy, however, it is sacrifice that gives up the good for the greater. False, or empty sacrifice is when we give up the good and then only note that the good was given up. That is when we "count the cost" of our sacrifice. That sacrifice is not sacred.

Get on, and stay on, the same page. Getting on the same page of "falling in love" is the easy part. Staying in love, though, not only takes some work it first requires making a decision to stay on the same page even when feelings come and go. Look forward together. This allows you to study where you are going, helps you know the territory, and keeps your eyes on the prize.

Consider the story of The Little Red Hen: Everyone in the story wanted the tasty results but none were willing to do all the work required to help the hen make the bread. It is the same with relationship work. Everyone wants the GREAT Relationship, but few are willing to do the work required for the results. Be willing to do the work to get the results. Bon appetit!

Count the ways. Literally. Take out a sheet of paper, or type on the computer, a list of all the ways, big and small, silly and profound, you love your partner. Make this an ongoing list. Share it with your partner all at once and/or leave notes and phone messages, send emails and texts daily with the following, "I love you because ______________." Fill your mind and your partner's with all that is right instead of focusing on all that is wrong.

You marry more than your partner. People often "act" surprised or shocked by their spouses family and our friends behavior, mannerisms, and attitudes. Then they act like victims of their in-laws and their partner's friends. Well, "look before you leap" may be cliché, but it's still wise counsel for those who are falling in love with someone to bear in mind you buy the whole package: Family, friends, associates—warts and all.

Life-long Romance is a Choice. "We fell in love... we fell out of love." Sounds like a lot of accidents happening around something as big and important as love and all that goes with it: Marriage, money, children, property. True men, who know how to love truly, romance their women daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and repeat for life. Create love by choice. Don't wait for it.

Gain true knowledge of your partner. Gain knowledge—I did not say gain assumptions or gain judgments or gain criticisms or gain interpretations or gain perceptions. I said gain true knowledge. Study your partner as he or she IS not how you think he or she SHOULD be. Knowing is a process, not an event. Knowing another person is a slow, progressive, development that occurs over time. Give it time and study well without the knowledge barriers listed above.

Love your partner for who they are, not how you think they should be. I hear too many people, unfortunately, too often men, who complain and compare physical attributes in such a way that keep the women in their lives from feeling fully loved for who they are at their very core. I think there is a great lesson to be learned from this fictional movie.

Become a Lifetime Student of the Master—Your Partner. Yes, "to understand is to love." For those of you have worked with me have learned The Deep Listening Validation Chain (I'll go over later). No one knows your partner better than he/she does. As such, he or she is the Master of Self. Rather than fight and argue, bow in humility to the master and learn from your partner.

Love simply and fully. Don't complicate love with pride, subterfuge, jockeying for position, scoreboarding, gaminess, and so on. Keep it simple. Be straightforward: Say "I love you." Show "I love you."

Have a Trophy Marriage. And proudly display and show it off. This is one reason for this public display of my love for Kara through these blogs. It's not just about braggin' (but if you got it, flaunt it), it's about showing that there is a prize that is attainable through the same discipline and hard work it takes to win a trophy in any field of endeavor.

Dealing with Incompatibility Is More Important than Being Compatible. Oh my gosh! I am SO tired of hearing "We're just not compatible." In 16 years of counseling, I have seen some rare cases where people truly aren't compatible. However, the vast majority of the couples I work with transform their crap marriage into beautiful, compassionate and profound. It is as Tolstoy said: It's not about compatibility as much as how you deal with that incompatibility.

Commitment is "kind, sturdy, wonderful, and cared for." It is something tended to and nurtured. It is invested in and time is given to it. It is not accidental and it is not just a "given". Commitment, like gardening, isn't easy and simply takes lots and lots and lots of hard work. It requires "sturdy shoes". And because it requires so much, so much is then gained and rightfully enjoyed.

Don't ration words of love and connection. Don't be stingy with the language of love which is the language of life. People come up with the most illogical reasons to justify their holding back expressions of love…

But let's compare greatness to greatness. How many great buildings, statues, paintings, martial artists, musicians "just happened"? They all studied the masters, learned from the greats before them, got as much training and knowledge as possible, studied their butts off, and then once they drilled it into their heads and muscle memory were they able to then "do their own thing" where it flowed with grace and ease.

True love protects. Real love seeks goodness. Real love protects that goodness it finds. True love is not always fun nor does it always feel good. But real and true love IS good.

No "score-boarding". Just love. Own it. If you want love, then be love, show love, act love. Don't wait for love. Don't wait to give love until you get it the way you want to receive it first. If you do you will get sucked into the loveless black hole of 50/50 "fairness". I've seen a lot of good love die on that nutrient-free vine. Holding back love = relationship death.