Strategies and mindsets for developing Marriage Mastery, Parent Training, and Self-Mastery.
See Jonathan's other related blog projects in the sidebar:
- The Q&A Series
- The GR Masters Project
- The 52 Love Songs Project
- The 365 Love Quotes Project
- Rock Therapy
- In the News
Parenting > Marketing Disconnection: When Did "You don't have to connect with your kids" Become a Selling Point?
This car ad is touting quiet, non-interactive children as a primary benefit of a car with built-in wifi. Now bear in mind I'm a big tech fan and readily welcome advances. However, I'd rather hear my child in her boredom come up with something imaginative like "I'm jumping on a chocolate chip trampoline" than have them plugged in and tuned out.
Be Crazy in Love with Your Kid
Sadly, too many children lack this, and it affects them profoundly. Please tell your children often that you love them and give them specifics as to why. They hang on to it years later in ways you may never know. There as some key loving things that my mother said to me as a child and teenager that have shaped the person I am today.
"Proud" Parenting Moment: Learn from the Master
I was outside today working on the car when my wife drove up returning from running errands. She got out and disbelievingly asked me, "Did you really say that?!" "Say what?" She then showed me my 16-year-old daughter's tweet:
Family Fun: Paper Mache (Papier Mâché) Masks
Sunday afternoon the question was asked, "Are we doing anything?" Rather than letting the moment pass and all the kids scurry off to their own isolating activities I said, "I'm going to make a paper mache helmet. Who wants to join me?" Most scurried off, but I started my preparations anyway knowing that I would likely entice a kiddo or two once they saw what was going on. It worked! I snagged Molly and she made a cute mouse and I made an elephant. We had no idea what we were going to make until we started. Most importantly we had a great time together.
Emotion Regulation: Graphic & Lesson
Emotion regulation doesn't need to be a "high level" concept. It's as simple and basic as understanding how to operate any other mechanical device—which, kids by the way, excel at. So teach them how to operate their own bio-machinery they live in each and every day. Of course, it helps the teaching if we as the adults actually model it for them... The good news is the above graphic/concept is so simple kids can totally get it.
5 Free Articles for Parents: "The Children & Divorce Series"
I was fortunate enough to be able to teach Utah's Divorce Parenting classes for 11 years and to be a family therapist for 18 years now. The research from my profession is undoubtably valuable, but the best teachers I've ever had have been all the wonderful parents and children who've simply gone through divorce and step-family transitions. It ain't no easy task! Those who've been through it can empathize and clearly know what they are talking about having been "in the trenches" themselves. I did, too, when I was six and the aftermath went on for years (Hmmm... I wonder why I became a marriage and family therapist....?). From both my profession's research and from the hundreds of families I've worked with I've written these articles.
The Answers You Get
I often remind people to be careful when seeking my advice and counsel: "Do you want the answer you want to hear or that is easiest to hear or do you want the answer you need to hear even if it's hard to hear?" For example, on one daddy daughter date last year with my teen girl I asked her, "How am I doing as a dad? What can I do better or differently to help you?" The answer I got really surprised me.
Hookey Dates
What is a Hookey Date? Well, hookey, of course, is the old term for ditching school. So Hookey Dates are where from 8 am to 3 pm I and one of my children completely blow off work and school. Each child gets to do this with dad one time each school year.
Honoring the Honorable and Dishonorable Parents
The commandment to "Honor thy father and mother" is easy and a joy to do when you have loving and honorable parents that you take pride in. However, what about when your parent(s) lack honor?
Life Choices: Should I get a dog or a kid?
Before you do either, get training. Training in how to effectively discipline the dog or the children to either (hopefully) prevent such incidents and/or to effectively manage these incidents without killing anyone. I do Parent Training. It's formal, systematic and customized. Best of all it's effective. It's based in the best evidence-based practices and real life "in the trenches" experience.