Uncle Jon's Obvious Observations: #1-30

I ran this series of silly, sarcastic, mild rants on Facebook and they garnered a lot of funny responses and even interesting conversations. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #1:
Doing nothing accomplishes nothing.

You’re welcome.


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #2:
If what you’re doing isn’t working stop it. Duh!

You’re welcome.

PS: Someone shared this gem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDpyS2HN5SA


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #3:
When I’m standing right next to you and it thunders really loud you don’t need to say, “Did you hear that?”

You’re welcome.


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #4:
Don’t be an idiot.

You’re welcome.


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #5:
Pointing out the obvious like I’m doing now is never helpful and wastes everyone’s time.


You’re welcome.


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #6:
“The big yellow one is the sun!”

You’re welcome.

PS: This is a quote from a Brian Regan comedy skit: http://youtu.be/_YBnupZLcXM and it's an "inside joke" among Brian Regan fans.


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #7:
To the person who asked me, “Reading a book?” when I was reading a book: “Yes.”

You’re welcome.


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #8:
When I say, “I’m sorry” when you’re going through something hard you don’t need to say, “That’s okay, it’s not your fault.” Oh, really?! Whew! I thought it was. No… I’m expressing sorrow for you and compassion, I’m not taking responsibility.

You’re welcome.

PS: See this related post... 2014/8/18/expressing-and-receiving-compassion


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #9:
This is my 9th “Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations” observation.

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #10:
When you exclaim, "Can you believe it's raining?!" I actually can. It's happened before. It'll happen again. Also, when you say, "It's not supposed to rain today," I think, "Yes it is. The weather said so."

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #11:
Braille on drive-up ATMs? Am I missing something obvious here?

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #12: 
Talking to/treating your spouse or your kids in ways you would NEVER talk to any of your friends and then wondering why you don't have a close friendship with your spouse or your kids. 

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #13:
Apologizing by saying, "I'm sorry, but..." means you're not really sorry, but you're a sorry butt.

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #14: 
If you say, "That's hilarious" but aren't laughing then it's not hilarious. Also, just so you know when people type "LOL" they aren't laughing out loud. At best they are CQTS (chuckling quietly to self).

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #15: 
"I don't like to read," is not something you should proclaim out loud. It's like admitting, "I don't like to get smarter."

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #16: 
Socks first. THEN shoes.

You're welcome

PS: Okay, I admit, I saw this in a Far Side comic years ago and thought it was brilliant. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #17: 
Of course it's ALWAYS the last place you look. No one looks one more place after they found it, "Hey! It was they second to last place I looked!"

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #18: 
When you ask me, "Can I ask you a question?" you already have, and without my permission I might add.

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #19: 
Shocking new statistic: 10 out of 10 people die. 

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #20: 
"I'm just being honest" isn't a free pass excuse for being a jerk.

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #21: 
"I shouldn't tell you this, but..." should be replaced with the thought "I shouldn't tell you this so I won't" followed with silence.

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #22: 
When someone compliments you just say, "Thank you."

You’re welcome. 


Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #23: 
Overheard: Teen girl (my neighbor) giving this should've-been-obvious advice to her adult male cousin, "When a girl pours her heart out to you in a text you don't respond, 'Cool beans.'!"

You’re welcome. 


 

Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #24:

A client asked, "Uncle Jon, can I nominate your next 'observation'? One time I said to you 'I'm not perfect,' and you replied, 'No duh! No one is.' I needed to hear how obviously ridiculous it is to even feel the need  to say that or on some level to expect perfection from myself."

You're welcome. 

 

Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #25:

Guest Obvious Observer, Uncle Joe Hollenbaugh: "Just a thought... if you don't want nude photos of yourself to be seen all over the Internet, don't take, or let others take, nude photos of yourself." 

You're welcome. 

 

 

Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #26:

Oranges are called oranges because they are orange. The color orange is called orange because oranges are orange. This is called recursiveness. Recursiveness is mind blowing and cool. 

You're welcome. 

Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #27:

The chance you will die increased 100% when you were born. Death is tied with birth as the most normal thing we all will do, yet most are terrified of it. We should fear death only as much as we fear life. 

You're welcome. 

Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #28:

Respect and Basic Manners 101 shouldn't change online just because we aren't face-to-face. For example: Feel the the need to hijack someone's Facebook thread with your strong opinions, snarky comments or soapbox agenda? Don't. It's their thread. It's kinda like their online living room. Let them hang and post what they choose. Do the same on yours. If you wouldn't, out if good manners and basic respect, hijack a polite conversation in their home, why would you think it's appropriate to do so online? Is it easier because you're hiding behind your screen and don't have to be rude in person? "But, I'm just being truthful/saying how I feel." No, you're being a rude jerk. And it's not like anyone's opinions have ever actually been changed by one of those inflammatory drama-creating exchanges, have they? Don't like their thread? That's okay. Politely excuse yourself and go somewhere else. There are elevety trillion other websites out there. Troll one of those with your rudeness. 

You're welcome. 

Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #29:

Every single second your life gets shorter by one full second! Gasp!

You're welcome. 

Uncle Jon’s Obvious Observations — #30:

When you run out of bullets don't throw your gun away in frustration like they do in the movies (hint: they aren't paper cups—they're actually reusable!). Just put it back in your holster and save it for later. 

You're welcome.


Like these? Then also check out "Jonathan's Marital Tip du Jour"