Strategies and mindsets for developing Marriage Mastery, Parent Training, and Self-Mastery.
See Jonathan's other related blog projects in the sidebar:
- The Q&A Series
- The GR Masters Project
- The 52 Love Songs Project
- The 365 Love Quotes Project
- Rock Therapy
- In the News
The Power of Preparation & Flexibility in Banishing Stress
Recently, at an EQnomics Series “Pulling the Stress Plug” event I discovered at the last minute that the LCD projector’s cords were not in the bag.
Thinking Outside the Barometer
One of my favorite anecdotes is as follows. I like to fact-check and found that this story may be more "apocryphal" than authentic, however, the story is still absolutely fantastic. I have used the story many times and most recently in my "Study Smarter, Not Harder: Strategies for Effective Learning" Workshop.
The Barometer Problem
MARRIAGE MASTERY Tip 6: From MLK, Jr: See the Other's Point of View
Consider these words from Martin Luther King, Jr. (1967) the next time you engage in conflict with your partner and you perceive them as the enemy:
Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence...
“La La La and Smiling”
Monday, as I was heading out the door to work, Matthew exuberantly exclaimed as he held the bio-feedback device aloft, “Hey Dad! All I’m doing is saying ‘La la la’ in my head and smiling!”. I laughed, hugged him and left. I thought that was all, however, for the rest of the day his words kept coming back to me: “All I’m doing is saying ‘La la la’ in my head and smiling.” There you had it: My 8-year-old son had mastered the Quick Coherence technique in only a few tries. Nothing fancy. Nothing complex. No muss. No fuss.
The Top 10 Things LESS Important than Your Marriage
In no particular order, The Top 10 Things LESS Important than Your Marriage are...
Daily Romance & Valentine's ALL Year
Whew! You got here before Valentine's Day... OR... Oops! You're getting this too late after Valentine's Day? Either way, great! Because, this post isn't for Valentine's Day, it's for taking care of your relationship with great care throughout the whole year, and not just on one day. For example, for our tenth anniversary, I collected and printed or wrote out 365 love quotes and poems and put them in the jars pictured above. This way she could read have random love note/Valentine every day that year. Further, they are a constant reminder year after year of the time and care I took that Valentine's Day to let her know for many days and many years how much she matters to me.
Life Choices: Should I get a dog or a kid?
Before you do either, get training. Training in how to effectively discipline the dog or the children to either (hopefully) prevent such incidents and/or to effectively manage these incidents without killing anyone. I do Parent Training. It's formal, systematic and customized. Best of all it's effective. It's based in the best evidence-based practices and real life "in the trenches" experience.
Hanging with the Fam
Several years ago, a neighbor asked my wife, Kara, "So what are Jon's hobbies? What does he do for fun?" She told him simply, "When Jon comes home, after seeing me, he seeks out the kids and plops down and starts playing with them. That's what he loves to do. That's his fun. I guess that's his hobby: Our kids." My wife's observation of me made me feel great…
Parenting: Avoiding Power Struggles, Part I
One parent recently contacted me seeking help for a common parenting problem: Power struggles. She stated that her child thinks she’s the boss, is defiant, does the opposite of what’s asked, and ignores her. Sound familiar? She lamented, as many of us have, “We’ve tried everything” and admitted that they end up resorting to yelling even though they know that’s not helpful.
Fathers' Day Picture Says 1,000 Words
We attended church on Fathers' Day with my cousin's family where I spied this dad zonked out with his little guy on the foyer couch. Been there. This picture says so much. As a father of two girls and two boys, I caught as many desperate cat naps as I could snag wherever and whenever I could. This father and his baby boy brought a lot back and I felt for him: For his exhaustion, and for the sublime honor and pleasure to be so entrusted with such a profound little life.
Marriage in the Coliseum
Oh, and I'm not just talking about the woman in this clip and I'm not just talking about this show. I'm talking about us. About our society. About you and me. How many watch this show, and shows like it, for sport? Big ratings and big money!
The Next "Survivor" Series: Survival Mom
My wife's co-worker Penny sent this to her, and Kara then sent it to me (2008). Men, I hope you express LOADS of appreciation to your wife today! Of course, this is based on a traditional work-inside-the-home mom and a work-outside-the-home dad scenario.
Husband Training 101
I'm giving a presentation called "Husband Training 101.” Some people have recoiled against the choice of word "training" as they think it sounds demeaning somehow--like training a dog (what's demeaning about training a dog? Okay, I know, I get it--the problem is that I'm supposedly comparing husbands to dogs. Am I? No, I are one! Husband, not dog, that is...). My point is that good training in ANY aspect of life tends towards mucho better results (sports, work, school, and yes, marriage, family, parenting AND even husbands).
Don't Blame Me. Make Yourself Look Good
I love this. I really do. Once a good friend of mine, in response to his wife (who was good friends with my wife) getting on his case because "Jonathan does this" and "Jonathan does that..." in reference to what I do for my wife and children. He jokingly/seriously said to me one day, "Man, you're making me look bad." I laughted and said, "No. I'm making myself look good. You're making yourself look bad."
Marriage Prep: To the Parents and Grandparents of Young Married Couples
I recently attended one of the several bridal shows in the community. There was aisle after aisle of gorgeous displays with many excited young brides accompanied by their mothers, fiancés, sisters and friends. Every product and service you could imagine was available to help these wonderful couples prepare for a truly memorable wedding. In the midst of all this joy I wondered why there weren’t any services to help couples ensure that their marriages would last well beyond their wedding day to their golden anniversary.
Marriage Prep: What to Expect from Pre-Marital Work
What better wedding gift to give each other than to commit to enhancing your marriage by learning skills that will continue throughout the years to reinforce your love for each other? Couples want to give the best gifts: the gifts of knowledge, commitment, appreciation, communication and time together. However, as many a parent and grandparent are aware, many newly married couples do not have the skills and tools to take the love that initially led to their decision to marry into the long-haul daily practice of creating, maintaining and improving a lasting marriage.
Count the Cost, Part 1
I had an interesting discussion with a good friend the other night. His short temper was taking its toll on him, his wife and children. He had decided he was going to go see a therapist to help him learn to manage his stress and anger more constructively. We got talking about the cost of therapy....